I STOPPED SAVING LIFE FOR LATER.
Hi, I'm Debbie.
And there's a reason I'm so passionate about helping people press pause, unwind and come alive.
It has very little to do with wanting everyone to become brilliant at relaxing.
In fact, that's not really the point at all.
I want you to pause because I want you to have more of yourself available for your life.
And it took losing one of the most important people in mine to really understand that.
LATER ISN'T PROMISED.
My dad worked six days a week for most of his life.
He was a worker. A doer. Someone who got on with things.
And I was incredibly close to him.
Probably more dependent on him than I realised at the time.
My business ran from his premises. He was woven into my work as well as my personal life and, if I'm honest, I leaned on him massively.
Then he became poorly.
He retired.
And three weeks later, he died.
He was 58.
Suddenly the person I'd always expected to be there wasn't.
There are some things that split your life into before and after.
For me, that was one of them.
And amongst all the grief and figuring out how the hell to carry on without him, it changed something fundamental in the way I thought about time.
Because we're very good at telling ourselves we'll do things later.
When work settles down.
When we've got more money.
When everyone else is sorted.
When the kids are older.
When things aren't so busy.
When we retire.
But sometimes later doesn't come.
I learned that earlier than I would have liked.
KNOWING THAT DIDN'T MAGICALLY MAKE ME GOOD AT STOPPING.
Quite the opposite at times.
I had a business to run.
People depending on me.
A life that hadn't stopped just because mine felt like it had been turned upside down.
So I did what a lot of us do.
I got on with it.
Until eventually, getting on with it catches up with you.
I've had my own experiences of burnout and exhaustion.
I've known what it's like to be the capable one who can absolutely handle everything...
right up until you can't.
To be tired in a way that an early night doesn't really fix.
To know all the things you're supposed to do to look after yourself and still not bloody do them.
Which is slightly inconvenient when you've spent your career working in health and wellbeing 😂
But it taught me something else that's become central to the way I work now.
Wellbeing shouldn't become another thing we're failing to keep up with.
I'VE SPENT MORE THAN 20 YEARS FIGURING OUT WHAT ACTUALLY HELPS.
My career started in fitness and movement.
Since then I've worked across personal training, coaching, teaching, yoga, mindfulness, breathwork, Traditional Chinese Medicine, acupuncture, acupressure, mobility, sound, meditation and rest.
I've run my own fitness studio.
Built my own wellbeing business.
Worked with people one-to-one, in groups, in workplaces, on retreats and in education.
And the more I've learned, the less interested I've become in telling everyone there's one right way to feel better.
Because there isn't.
Some people need to move.
Some need to stop.
Some love meditation.
Some would rather poke themselves in the eye.
Some love the woo-woo.
Some think it's absolute bollocks.
Some days you need grounding and quiet.
Other days you need music, movement, laughter and to remember you've got a pulse.
All welcome.
I've got a big toolbox.
But you don't need to know what's in all of it.
That's my job.
“YOU JUST SEEMED TO KNOW WHAT I NEEDED TODAY.”
This is one of my favourite things women say to me after I've worked with them.
And there's no magic trick.
It's twenty-plus years of listening.
Watching.
Learning.
Trying different approaches.
Understanding that the person in front of me matters more than the modality I've trained in.
It's also why so much of what I create starts with real life, not wellness terminology.
Women don't usually arrive telling me:
“Debbie, I think I require a combination of mindful movement and parasympathetic nervous system regulation today.”
They say:
“I'm knackered but my head won't switch off.”
“Everyone bloody needs me.”
“I can't shift this fog.”
“I just need a hug.”
I understand that language.
And I know what I've got in my toolbox that might help.
That's the approach behind everything I create.
From nine minutes at home to a few days away.
PAUSE. UNWIND. COME ALIVE.
These three words have become the simplest way I can explain what I believe.
PAUSE
Not when everything's finished.
Not when everyone else is sorted.
Not when you've earned it.
While life is actually happening.
Sometimes for nine minutes.
Sometimes an hour.
Sometimes a day.
Sometimes you need to get the bloody hell away for a weekend.
UNWIND
Let go of some of what you've been carrying.
Move if you need to move.
Stop if you need to stop.
Breathe.
Rest.
Laugh.
Eat.
Sleep.
Listen.
Be looked after.
You don't have to perform wellbeing correctly here.
COME ALIVE
This is the bit that matters most to me.
Because the point isn't to spend our lives becoming really good at relaxing.
It's to have more of ourselves available for living them.
More energy.
More connection.
More laughter.
More curiosity.
More fuck it, why not?
AND I'M TRYING TO LIVE IT TOO.
I haven't cracked life.
I still take on too much sometimes.
I still get tired.
I still have days where I'm done adulting and would quite like somebody else to be in charge.
The difference is that these days I'm much less interested in waiting for the mythical right time to live.
I've travelled.
Changed direction.
Started again.
Built businesses.
Tried things that didn't work.
Done things that did.
And most recently, my husband Craig and I decided that despite knowing virtually nothing about boats, buying a 1984 houseboat and making it our home seemed like a perfectly reasonable idea.
Apparently “fuck it, why not?” occasionally has consequences 😂
It's messy.
It's a work in progress.
But it's ours.
And that's what coming alive means to me.
Not some enormous, dramatic reinvention.
Actually participating in your own life.
YOUR VERSION DOESN'T NEED TO LOOK LIKE MINE.
I'm definitely not suggesting you leave here and buy a boat.
Unless you want to.
In which case we should probably have a conversation first 😂
Your version of coming alive might be booking the trip you've talked about for years.
Going dancing again.
Getting outside more.
Starting something.
Stopping something.
Seeing your friends.
Changing direction.
Doing something purely because you bloody enjoy it.
Or simply having enough energy left at the end of the week to actually want to do something with it.
That's why I create the pauses.
Not to take you away from your life.
To give you enough room to come back to it.
SO, HOW MUCH OF A PAUSE DO YOU NEED?
A LITTLE PAUSE
A few minutes at home or an hour or two with me.
For when you need something that fits into actual life.
A DAY
When a couple of hours isn't quite going to touch the sides.
A whole day to put things down, be looked after and properly unwind.
TIME AWAY
When you know you need to properly step away.
A few days where you're not the one organising, deciding or holding everything together.
LIFE IS HAPPENING NOW.
You don't have to finish everything before you're allowed to enjoy it.
Press pause when you need to.
Unwind from what you're carrying.
Then go and bloody live.
What you can expect
No pressure to keep up.
No expectation to be flexible.
No judgement if you've never done anything like this before.
Just a warm welcome, thoughtful experiences, beautiful surroundings and permission to take care of yourself for a change.
Many people come on their own, and by the end of the day or weekend leave feeling like they've spent time with old friends.
If you've been looking for a sign to slow down...
Perhaps this is it.
I'd love to welcome you.
Debbie 🤍
Press Pause. Unwind. Come Alive.
